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What are my goals: Self-Reflection

Wednesday, May 13, 2020 10:23 | chad pearce

The assigned topic for this blog post: "what are my goals".

In the military we subscribe to the “adapt and overcome mentality”.  It is imperative to assess the situation and determine where course correction is needed.  When it comes to my goals and how I pursue these goals, some course correction is needed as I transition from 20 years of military service into what this next phase of my life will be.  

A priority for me as I navigate through this Learner Blog and internship as part of the DoD Skillbridge is self reflection.    

Self-reflection is a process by which you grow your understanding of who you are, what your values are, and why you think and act the way you do.

Just last week I was driving with my almost 14yr old daughter to our drop off point at the end of our weekend visit. If you are a non custodial parent, you probably can relate to the many hours spent in the car with your child dropping off and picking up.  The plus side to this situation is that we have had many long conversations that helped the two of us bond as parent and child.  Our most recent conversation was about her pursuit of her goals, primarily school and sports. 

If you understand teenagers, you know that most of them are just trying to figure out their place in the world.  My daughter is no different, but she is a driven young woman who attacks her goals with a focus and determination that sets her apart from most people her age. I see myself in her. 

Now, this is where the self-reflection sets in.  Our conversation this day on our drive to the drop off point was about how she feels her drive sometimes creates issues in her relationships with others.  She also feels extreme self induced pressure and anxiety.  She struggles with balance. 

My heart sunk….. I have struggled with all these things in my lifetime. I had to fight back my emotions as we talked through many things on that drive, much of it was uncharted territory for us.  I shared experiences, spoke from the heart. We connected in a way that i'm not sure we have ever connected before.  I believe she helped me more than I helped her through that conversation.  

So, yes, I have goals. I've pursued goals with all of my heart and soul through 20yrs of service. Some of these goals were individual, some were organizational and some were for others.  Some I chased for years before I realized they weren't worth chasing.  

Through self-reflection I now realize that balance, pace, perspective, consistency, faith and most importantly the journey itself are the key takeaways after a lifetime of being goal driven.  I've also learned that individual goals fade quickly while shared/team goals and helping others to achieve their goals last much longer and are much more fulfilling.

My current goals:

Prioritize my faith, family, and overall mental health first.  

Support veterans by partnering with them to find employment post service.

Many things are incorporated into these two goals. Much of which will be explored in the coming blog post.  

Stay tuned.

Chad 




Comments

  • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 10:58 | Jordan Madrid
    Chad, I have always admired how goal driven you are. I know without a doubt that you will do exactly what you set your mind to and more! I am looking forward to seeing you achieve your goals outside of the military and seeing the effects on those around you.
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    • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 11:52 | chad pearce
      Thank you Jordan. You know me pretty well.... Sometimes our strengths can be our weaknesses. Your support means the world to me.


      Chad
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  • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 11:13 | Marc Mojica
    Goals are foundations that set many of us apart when they are accomplished. I believe no matter what age bracket we are in or what stage we are currently achieving in, setting goals creates a mindset of strength and stability. Just as you connected with your daughter’s challenges to your past battles exemplifies how valuable caring about your purpose in life matters. The goals is just the tip of the adventure. Setting goals is what pushes me everyday at my age. Even if it is as little as getting into the office 15 minutes earlier, or making sure I’m able to read to my kids before bed. Conquering goals will always place us on the right path for success in every aspect of our lives, for family, wealth, and health. Thank you for your personal views on the reflections that make you tick.
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    • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 11:54 | chad pearce
      Marc,

      I'm glad you commented my friend. YOU have been an inspiration to MANY in our community with how you pursue and achieve your goals. You have personally inspired me to get my butt out of bed and get to the gym on more than one occasion. Thank you for your support and your inspiration!

      Chad
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  • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 12:13 | Laura Vogus
    Your current goals are spot on. They are all centered on relationships (even with self). There's never been anything narcissistic about you, Chad. You know that God's best for you requires time for connection & compassion; engaging with life and the people in it. Keep it up. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58
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    • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 12:27 | chad pearce
      Laurie,

      Love the verse! " Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

      Thank you for your comment and thank you for your lifetime of support for me and my family.

      Chad
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  • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 16:44 | Christopher Perez
    Chad,
    Great start to your blog. As long as I’ve had the privilege of knowing and working with you, you were always that one animal that’s always on the run, chasing after that prey (in this case, your goals) and that drive has taken you where you are now. It’s inspirational to me and others as well. I look forward to reading more of your posts!
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    • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 16:58 | chad pearce
      Thanks Chris! I had amazing Wingman like you who were always with me in pursuit of those goals. I appreciate friendship very much. Please help me to get the word out about this blog and the community. I really believe they can help our fellow veterans.

      https://wherecommunitiesserveveterans.org

      Chad
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      • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 19:29 | Rondey Bullock
        Chad, I definitely believe in setting goals or objectives. Everyday I have an objective to accomplish something; whether it is as simple as working out or accomplishing a milestone for my business. I believe setting goals and/or objectives allows us to reach a sense of accomplishment. What is the purpose of life if you have no target to hit or direction to follow? I believe that significant changes in one’s life (retirement or transition) can alter that direction or goal. In my prior military life I was a hard charger; get it done type of person. About a year after retirement my focus changed. My kids were adults and out of the house so my goal of being their provider ands setting them up for success had been accomplished. My focus is now on God, my wife/family and helping others. I do this at my pace as I control my destiny and the journey I travel. For those just setting out on their journey I encourage them to develop a 1, 3, and 5 year plan so they can determine if they are on track to hit their mark. Doing this has lowered my stress level and as my mother use to say, “take time to smell the roses”. I said all of that to say this; life is full of journeys, but without goals and/or objectives how do you know when you’ve reached the end of one journey and another begins.
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        • Thursday, May 14, 2020 06:46 | chad pearce
          Rondey, in the few years I have known you I have definitely observed your words in action. I especially appreciate your focus on God and family. The balance/pace, post service is what I am working through now. Thank you for your insight and support!

          Chad
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  • Wednesday, May 13, 2020 20:51 | Jim Vogus
    I applaud your plans to carefully scrutinize your priorities before committing the next phase of your life. I’ve seen too many “live” for their retirement, and drift aimlessly. And after 20 years of regimentation, all the options of the civilian sector must be daunting. You seem to be building a good foundation.
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    • Thursday, May 14, 2020 06:53 | chad pearce
      Jim,

      Thank you for your support. The whole purpose of the DoD SkillBridge program for me was to have time to learn, reflect, and engage with a mentor I believed could help with my transition into becoming a Veteran business owner. Al, the CEO of this organization has been key in this process. There are many AGRs in your organization who would be eligible for SkillBridge. Let's talk soon to discuss.

      Chad
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  • Thursday, May 14, 2020 09:23 | Jaime Acevedo
    Chad,

    The stuff you mentioned hits very close to home and I've shared this with you. It happened during my retirement ceremony a couple of years ago as I gave my final speech to friends and family. I happened to gaze into the audience and saw my grown children looking back at me with smiles. It was that moment that I started to realize that while my goal was to get to that point of starting the next chapter of my life, I wasn't really living in the moment. In the blink of an eye my kids were grown, and well on their way to becoming young adults. I made a vow at that time to make it a point live in the moment, and enjoy the time I was able to spend with them. Self reflection helped for me to focus more on what's important in terms of friends and family, and less on work. It's helped me to take a step back and really enjoy living in the moment with my wife and children. Definitely makes me appreciate them a lot more now. Good stuff, man!
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    • Thursday, May 14, 2020 11:47 | chad pearce
      Jaime,

      I'm realizing this shift in perspective is just part of the transition, and most of us veterans all go through it. Now that I'm experiencing it, I know how to help the next brother/sister.

      Chad
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  • Thursday, May 14, 2020 14:44 | Curtis LaRue
    Chad, love this topic. It’s funny how we just talked about the importance of having goals and how easy it is to get lost on life’s journey without them.
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    • Thursday, May 14, 2020 19:55 | chad pearce
      Our goals are important. The journey is the most rewarding part!
      Link  •  Reply
  • Thursday, May 14, 2020 15:19 | Kevin Reinert
    Ever since we've met, I immediately discovered you not only had the drive to succeed professionally, you also have the drive to have a successful personal life. Finding that balance is not easy, which is why we not only have to establish goals for work, we have to have goals for our family life as well. Someone once told me that you know you are in balance when you say on Friday that you are looking forward to a great weekend, and on Sunday you can say you're excited about what's in store at work in the week ahead.
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    • Thursday, May 14, 2020 15:33 | chad pearce
      Kevin,

      I sincerely appreciate your support. You have been a mentor for many years and your words carry weight with me. You are spot on, work and family goals are a priority!

      Chad
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  • Sunday, May 17, 2020 16:38 | Jeff George
    Chief,

    I’m happy to hear you passed along one of your greatest gifts to your daughter, the determination to make a difference. That determination misguided though, can create a lot of missed opportunities for herself and others. That’s why I think the most powerful thing you may have said during your talk was, “ individual goals fade quickly while shared/team goals and helping others to achieve their goals last much longer and are much more fulfilling“.

    As parents, we say a million little things to our kids that are disregarded almost immediately. But there’s that occasional conversation that sinks in. It’s a connection that’s not realized right away, until there’s that chance to apply those magic words later.

    Early in my life, I took some opportunities to help others but not all, and I surely didn’t seek them out. I didn’t receive this wisdom you gave to your daughter, so I was way behind the curve. Eventually, we realize to get what we want in life is to first help others get what they want. Sadly, it takes many a lifetime to figure this out, and some never get it at all.

    Your daughter now has a great head start on that and all the other things you shared. Enjoy the ride!
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    • Monday, May 18, 2020 06:04 | chad pearce
      Jeff,

      It's ironic how so many of life's lessons we are taught at such a young age but they really don't set in until we have kids and we see the cycle come full circle.

      Chad
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  • Sunday, May 17, 2020 20:28 | Damian Lovio
    Chad, I would have to say I slightly disagree with your statement that our individual goals fade. “ I've also learned that individual goals fade quickly while shared/team goals and helping others to achieve their goals last much longer and are much more fulfilling.“ I think it is more so, our individual goals just get, adjusted or prioritized, while incorporating new goals, whether they be individual or team goals. I guess, I interpret a goal that fades, is something to the effect of someone who realizes, as you said, in another post, “a goal that you realize isn’t worth chasing anymore”. Through your blog posts, however, and from the outside looking in, it appears and sounds to me that you are inline with your goals of helping and mentoring people.

    Damian
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    • Monday, May 18, 2020 06:09 | chad pearce
      Damian,

      Thanks for the insight. I guess my point was primarily that I have had certain individual goals that I'm not quite sure I would focus so intensely on if I had to do it all over again. Make no mistake, I am pro goals, just looking at them through a new lens.

      Chad
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